So Ironically, my kid teaches me a lot about my awareness. She picks up on everything so well, so fast that anyone around her has to be careful with their actions and words. My take on this today is from a different perspective other than the obvious. and its that US parents literally set up our kids for failure or for success from the very beginning.
How I respond to everything my daughter does tells her whether it is good or not. So here’s a story– kids, like usual, drop things and often break them and honestly as a parent that can get frustrating most of the time. This is especially frustrating when you are in a crunch for time and they got ketchup all over themselves. YIKES! So she accidently dropped her plate and I had just about had it that day and almost gave into a horrible reaction. The one thing that stopped me is remembering that she is only one and doesn’t have a lot of awareness to certain things, but that’s for sure– mommy gives her a sense of security on how she responds.
It is in that very moment that I have to scan myself for my emotions: am I angry? upset? just hungry? in a rush? and I have to stop and analyze that because she does not deserve for me to project how I feel internally to her. So as she does so well, she helps me to really think outside of myself and come at the situations from a neutral standpoint allowing me to think out what could or could not have happened and really understanding that it really was an accident.
This may seem so small, but how many times do we see others or even parents frustrated at life, hangry, upset with their spouse or even just themselves and here they are at the slightest accident their child makes– completely taking it out on them i.e. yelling at them, putting them in time out, spanking them and etc. So instead I grab the plate from the floor, stoop to her level and let her know that it is okay and mommy knows it was an accident. I reassure her with a hug or find a way to make her laugh so she doesn’t keep taking it upon herself.
Kids are so alert that they know when it is genuine and when it is coming from a different place. Like my kid already looks up to me for approval– in no way will I take advantage of that, but rather seek every moment to get better — together.